For BB...

Sometimes, it takes a big blow to knock some sense and all those familiar emotions back into one's being.. I wish I could turn back time and try to relive the 'moments' between us that I let slip away.. that you didn't fight for.. that I didn't value up until the chance may have passed us by..

Now there are too many variables that we can't just disregard. There are enough choices and options to put Starbucks to shame. It's not fair that all these things have to happen now.. not when my eyes are finally open and I can see a "future" past the friendship that has kept me afloat throughout the years. You're right, you've always been there for me--unconditionally. Was I that guarded that I couldn't see that you were always mine, that I should've just taken hold of you when I could??? Why didn't I listen to the truth when you spoke those words to me? And now I fear that when this storm has passed, you will surely not come out of it unscathed and I will be left with only a semblance of a man I used to know..and the man who loved me completely for everything that was me..

Like I've said, I'm taking myself out of the equation because I know all of this shouldn't have to matter right now. I should be the least of your worries. Be strong and be the man I always knew you to be.. I expect nothing less.. While it may hurt and regardless of the title, I'll be here for you always.. I promise..

*** *** ***

GHOST
Indigo Girls

There's a letter on the desktop
That I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams

And the Mississippi's mighty
But it starts in Minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
And I guess that's how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown

And there's not enough room
In this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost
I'm in love with your ghost

Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
(Dont tell a soul)
When I wake the things I dreamt about you
Last night make me blush
(Dont tell a soul)
And you kiss me like a lover
Then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river
Play your memory like a piper

And I feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me
I'd walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity
I've never been this close
I'm in love with your ghost

Unknowing captor
You never know how much you
Pierce my spirit
But I cant touch you
Can you hear it
A cry to be free
Oh I'm forever under lock and key
As you pass through me

Now I see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels
To be weakened like Achilles
With you always at my heels

My bitter pill to swallow
Is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I can't swim free
The river is too deep
Though I'm baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost

You are shadowing my dreams
(in love with your ghost)