dizzying stillness

I haven't blogged in a bit. I haven't really had the time to plus I haven't been in the right state to organize my thoughts into phrases and sentences that would seem coherent to whoever takes time out to swim in my thoughts.

As always, things at the Pancitan have been crazy with different deadlines to meet and with a variety of characters to deal with. I feel so tired and so drained. Every day, I have to drag myself out of bed and drive to the office. Traffic is hell and parking is a bitch if you happen to come a few seconds too late!

I've overdrawn my "happy thoughts" bank account so getting through the day in one piece has become such a chore. I recently made a few "deposits" but with the relatively "low interest rate", it doesn't really count for much. (Am I talking in Greek here?!) Isa lang itong guni-guni.. Kailangan ko nang magising..

The things that have happened in the few weeks have left me in a tailspin. I am currently enrolled in the Eskimo Academy, trying to finish with a Masters degree in the Art of being Deadma but sadly--even being the OC overachiever that I am-- this is one course that I will most definitely fail. I am human. I breathe. I think. I feel. That is one thing that will never change and I am grateful.

I know that more often than not I tend to over-think and over-analyze things but at least there are forces in my environment that literally knock me back to my senses and drag me back to reality. (Thanks Ziz and Partner, even if you sometimes use brute force! Hahaha)

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In other news, G-girl and Kuya Kar are engaged!!! Woohoooo!!! It seems that the recurring theme for 2007 has to do with weddings. Uuuggghh!!! But I am genuinely happy for them. This engagement was 8 years in the making and I was there (as the Spy, hehehe) when it all started at the Unibersidad. I'd post pictures except we used Fifi's camera that night so I guess it'll be a few years before we see them.. (UPLOAD Fif!!! Pleeeeaaasssee!!)

I wish you both luck, love and truckloads of kids! That should be fun! We've got a wedding to plan! Wheeeeee! :P

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Still more news:
Our friend Noelle is part of the Pinay expedition to Everest. Cool really but I'm scared for her. My only wish is that she keeps her promise to us--> to come back (and with 10 fingers and 10 toes). Good luck Noey!!!

I was at her send-off party last night with the Chicas and other Goldy-girls, after a long and crazy day--booknotes version: my car died in the middle of the street but oddly enough, right in front of an auto supply shop. God bless the soul of Jeff and the traffic enforcer that helped me. It was such a relief to be around friends when the madness subsides. Good Times, Good Friends.. :D

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Daming news!!!

My Partner is going to Pattaya as the country representative for her shortfilm "Taxi" at the Adfest. None of us realized how big this event was actually gonna be but if anyone deserves it, it's gotta be her.

I know you don't believe much in yourself and in the things that you can do (parang mali sabihin to..??) but, we all do. Go for gold na ito Mars! I'll be rooting for you even as I wither here lonesomely at the Pancitan. Alagaan mo sya Ziz!! Uwi kayo agad! Pasalubong ko!!! :D

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This song has been on repeat in my head. Hence, my blog should be in on it too.

TULAK NG BIBIG, KABIG NG DIBDIB
Julianne

Tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa iyo
Paikot-ikot lang,
Nalilito, ba’t gan’to?
Pag-gising sa umaga ikaw ang nasa isip
Pagtulog sa gabi, laman ng panaginip
Mahal ba kita?
O ano? Ewan ko

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa iyo
Simula nang makilala
Di na maipinta ngiti sa mata
Magdamag ang kwentuhan, kulitan, tawanan
Di ko maintindihan
Bakit ngayon lang
Kung kelan ang puso ko ay maselan

Hindi mo lang alam
Takot lang akong masaktan
Iniingatan lang aking puso
Kung maibibigay ko lang ang sinasabi mo
Di na sana tayo magkakaganito
Pasensya ka na kung hanggang dito na muna tayo

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa iyo
Paikot-ikot lang
Nalilito, ba’t gan’to?
Urong-sulong yan ang paborito
Lilitaw, lulubog tanong mo kahit sino
Pakisabi nalang
Ano ba talaga ang gusto mong gawin ko?

Pakiusap lang
Wag mo nga akong tingnan ng ganyan
Nakakatunaw ang iyong tingin
Hinay-hinay ka lang
Mahina ang lkalaban
Baka di na maiwasan
Mahulog ng tuluyan

Hindi mo lang alam
Takot lang akong masaktan
Iniingatan lang aking puso
Kung maibibigay ko lang ang sinasabi mo
Di na sana tayo magkakagulo-gulo
Pasensya ka na kung hanggang dito na muna tayo

Hanggang dito nalang..

Tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib..