Endless Possibilities and Then Some..

With my 25th fast-approaching, I can't help but feel the birthday blues all over again. It's weird but it really hits me every single year, regardless of what's going on in my life.. My old bones are tired. A quarter of a century has passed and I'm not too sure I've figured out what I really want in life. Not that I feel I should've by now.. Some people never even get around to doing that. After everything that's been happening, I just want to take things one step at a time. My birthday has always been rather significant because of the life-altering events that happen whenever my birthday is just around the corner. Warning to the universe: I AM SO NOT IN THE RIGHT MINDSET TO HANDLE ANYTHING. Not right now, and definitely not for a long time. SO PLEASE...Pretty please..Be kind to me..??!!!

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Jammy, you never cease to amaze me! I haven't really laughed or smiled this whole week. Love ya sweetpea! :)
Fifi, I'll see you tomorrow! Miss you girlies.. :(

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A crazy chat session/conversation lead to these taglines, perfect for everyday-wear! You're a genius Jammy..but if you think about it, it's crazy how we're "living it"! At least it depends from which perspective you look at it..Hehehe :D

MONDAY: Endless Possibilities
TUESDAY: MWAAAAH..All Over!
WEDNESDAY: No Judgement
THURSDAY:If I get back together with you, my friends will kill me and refuse to drink with me.
FRIDAY: Go Alamat! Go Berdugo! Go Deep Fifi!
SATURDAY: It Never Happened. I Have Witnesses!
SUNDAY: Dude, What the Hell Did We Do Last NIght?!!!!

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Nora, hindi ka na stalker! Yipeeee!!! Thanks for keeping me company last night. It may not seem much but I really appreciate it. I've been having a bad week and I just really needed that breather. I'll see you later okay? :)

Car, he didn't believe us when we said we had other pixes of him! He let me in on some of his other stalker stories..Interesting but Be. Very. Afraid. Hahaha :D

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Love this song. Thanks Geegee for refreshing my memory! Subic, we're coming for you!! :)

I Tried to Rock You But You Only Roll
Leona Naess

Hear me now like you did back then
With an underground feeling and a solid goal -oh
So feel me now like you did back then
With an overgrown healing tried sealing my soul
Got so scared got so tired
Doin everything wrong doing everything right
Got two guitars to play my songs
Got many rights to kill my wrongs
Got a smile that'll knock you down
I got friends who will follow me
And i dont own responsibility
And i know what i am
And i know that i'm right
Yeah yeah yeah

My arms are reachin out to let you go
I tried to rock you but you only can roll
The ink you spilt across my skin (yeah)
Is sinkin deeper within

I was wrong to put you up there
With a ton of dead heroes
And a ton of dead songs
But you came to me like a casual dream
Slow to begin
Put a smile on my skin
Got a head full of new ideas
I got music bleeding from my ears
And people who believe in me
I got miles and miles of things to see
Nothin relates to you and me
And i know what i am
And i know that i'm right
Yeah yeah yeah

Not Quite Six Feet Under

NOTE: Please ignore this post. It's the hormones talking and besides, I don't really want to get into the gory details.

Dying
Five for Fighting

I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There's a shade come over this heart that's coping with laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent
I'm Dying to live without you again

The first time you left I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back so we can meet again
Dying, Dying to say what I always should have said
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

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Thank you Sharon/Troy for sharing this with me. I am now very much in touch with my suicidal tendencies! Salamat talaga! If you get to read this within the week, you must've packed your stalker instincts and brought them with you all the way to Singapore. On a more serious note, I hope that you're doing okay. Breathe! Holler if you need anything, your wing-people will be here for you.. We'll see you when you get back! :)

Hey Car! Hey Nora! Friday Club? :)

I Concede! Go Team!!!

Thanks to:



and because:



We now have:



Meet the band: Lolo Bee, Lizzie, Boppers and Gee.

We finally kicked things off with band. It was quite serendipituous (did I get this right??) how we got together and seeing how well we gel, I'm glad that things worked out this way. (I still have to get back at Gee-You burned me good! hehehe) We're progressing--rather slowly--but we've got to start somewhere. I honestly can't wait to get out there and play some music. Granted I'll probably never get over my stage fright,I'm still pretty excited. Some say acoustic music might very well be on its way out, especially with the advent of Pogi Rock (i.e. Hale, Cueshe, etc) but I'm hoping we'll still catch the tailend of the storm. I'm a bit surprised at our playlist and while it makes me nervous, I only hope we do justice to the bands we'll be covering. Wish us luck! We need Duffies (apparently, this is what our "groupies" will be called..hahaha)!

SOS to the universe: We need a new name (cos' I'm sure my bandmates won't be able to stand being called what they want to be called for long.. See, I'm still not about to disclose it!) so if you've got any suggestions, fire away! :)

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Wake Up
Hilary Duff

There’s people talking
They talk about me
They know my name they think they know everything
But they don’t know anything, about me
(About me...)

Give me a dance floor
Give me a DJ
Play me a record
Forget what they say
‘Cause I need to go
Need to getaway, tonight
(Tonight...)

I put my makeup on a Saturday night
I try to make it happen
Try to make it alright
I know I make mistakes
I’m living life day to day
It’s never really easy but it’s okay
(It’s okay, okay...)

Wake up, wake up
On a Saturday night
Could be New York
Maybe Hollywood and Vine
London, Paris, maybe Tokyo
There’s something going on
Anywhere I go, tonight
Tonight, yeah tonight
(Tonight...)

The city’s restless
It’s all around me
People, emotions, sick of all the same routines
And they need to go, they need to get away, tonight
(Tonight...)

People all around you everywhere that you go
People all around you, they don’t really know you
Everybody’s watching like it’s some kind of show
Everybody’s watching, they don’t really know you now...
(They don’t really know you, they don’t really know you...)
And forever...

Wake up, wake up
(Wake up, wake up)

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BIrthday shoutout to my girl, Fifi-Dahling! I know that a part of you is missing on this day but you know that Jammy and I are here to fill in the gap. Luvya plenty sweetpea! Holler if you need anything, I promise you that I'll always be here.

Jammy, I'm sooo glad you QUIT!!! Wait for me? It's party time! hehehe..Miss you girlies so much. Take me to the Candyshop! :)

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Stalkers beware! Car shared her incriminating photos! (But see, I'll only post the nice ones from last weekend..)

Today Never Happened Before

I finally made a decision. I solved one pressing issue. I can finally get it out of my head.. I know I made the right choice because it's for the greater good. I just wish I didn't feel this sharp stab at my chest. I don't really undestand why.. I can't really explain and I know more than anything, i'm over-reacting but still..

Thank God, He didn't take away my sense of humor or I'd be dead now...

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Dare You To Move
Switchfoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here, Everyone's here.
Everybody's watching you now.
Everybody waits for you now.
What happens next, what happens next

I Dare you to move
I Dare you to move
I Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I Dare you to move
I Dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before...

Welcome to the fall out
Welcome to resistance
The tention is here, the tension is here
Between who you are, and who you could be
Between how it is, and how it should be.
Yeah

I Dare you to move
I Dare you to move
I Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I Dare you to move
I Dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened...

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself
Where're you gonna go?
where're you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself, lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

I am 32 Flavors and Then Some

My hell week is over! We finally wrapped one project yesterday (One to go!) so my stress level has finally gone down, which means my (gimmick) schedule has opened up! Yipeeeee!

I had a rather interesting weekend. To make up for the lost week, I clocked in 15 straight hours of gimmick-time followed by a visit with Boppers Mom and Child to our Flowers Mum and children and jam session after only 2 hours of sleep! I know it's getting old but it was UNBELIEVABLE! It's only been approximately 2 months since my life started again but the events that have taken place are more than enough to keep my mind whirling. I felt good knowing that I had already gotten off the emotional rollercoaster that I thought I was permanently strapped to. Little did I know that I was going to be taken for another ride--don't get me wrong, it's been laods of fun. Although, sometimes I feel like throwing up when i'm caught off-guard.

Saturday (bordering on Sunday really) was quite a "revelation". I don't think the news has sunk in just yet (hence the awkwardness) so I'm still somewhat in panic mode. WHO THE HELL WOULD'VE THUNK?!!! I know that I should be the last person who should be stressed over all of this (cos I'm the victim here and cos I wasn't doing anything at all!!!) but while some people might actually disagree, I'm not a bitch. Much as I would like this time to be "MY TIME" and to be selfish for once, I just can't bring myself to do anything. The Inner Bitch that I tapped into after losing her for quite some time apparently has clear-cut limits-- i.e. a load of sarcasm and just a little out of the ordinary fun, fun, fun. I should just go for gold and quit my job!!! (Right Jammy? Are you with me?!! hehehe)

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I feel so out of it--probably because I started it out with fighting with Mummy Dearest. Funny how this can still happen considering my current zipcode. How frustrating! Especially since I actually had a good day with her yesterday.. What am I to do?!! I hope this blows over soon..

I realized that I'm about to spend my 1st anniversary at 19Co. It still brings a sharp jab at my chest when I think about the things that happened and how they turned out but then again, I suppose there really was a greater reason or a higher purpose for everything though they were revealed months after.

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I'm a scatter-brain today. I just wanna crash..

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This is turning into a karaoke blog but it's all good..

32 Flavors
Alana Davis

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head
'Cause someday you're going to get hungry and eat all of the words that you just said
I am what I am, I am 32 flavors and then some

God help you if you are an ugly
Course too pretty is also your doom
'Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room
God help you if you are a phoenix and you dare to rise up from ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while you are just flying past
I am what i am, I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm taking my chances as they come
I am 32 flavors and then some, I'm nobody but I am someone

I'd never try to give my life meaning by demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I am beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head
'Cause someday you're going to be starving and eating al the words that you just said
That you said

I am what I am, I am what I am
I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm taking my chances as they come
I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm looking for truth and there is none
32 flavors and then some
I'll never forget where I came from
32 flavors and then some
I'm nobody but I am someone
32 flavors and then some
I'm taking my chances as they come
32 flavors and then some
Looking for truth and there is none

Heaven Help Us, We're Not Quite There Yet

Work is slowly eating me up inside. I feel quite anxious all the time..like I'm sitting idly, just waiting for the first giant mistake that I could and will probably make. It's tiring but at the same time, I feel good knowing that I'm in the thick of things and that I'm learning a lot through this experience.

HE has a weird sense of humor (although I choose not to elaborate on it). My week was off to a rather bad start and I've been in such a "mood" lately that I didn't expect it to change until the weekend arrives. Surprisingly, I woke up all sunshiney and smiley today.. Yes, *happinesss all over*! I'm sure it has to do with the alcohol finally flowing in my bloodstream thanks to last night's Thursday Club.. (Hi, my name is Reg and I'm..) I really get such a high from all of it--morning after reunion/jam sessions, rockin' out and groovin' to girl power songs, chillin' with my wingmen, plus other extra-curricular activities..hahaha!

I was caught off-guard when I bumped into some collegemates at last night's "club meeting". The fact that Wingman Nora is their "kabarkada" from highschool escaped me up until last night. Although I was the butt of a lot of ridicule (Hilary McDuff! hahaha), it was still good to see them and to laugh about our PI100 days. (I'll really try to get all my pixes up by this weekend!!!)

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I've recently rediscovered this song through my "bandmates". I always liked it but I just never really knew what it was called up until last week. I'm sharing this new theme song with my Wingmen- Nora and Sharon. (Yes Nora, with your stalker tactics I'm pretty sure you'll find this soon enough..Si Sharon nalang clueless! hahaha) I know that neither one of us is here at this point just yet but I'm hopeful and I'm sure that we'll get there soon enough. We fly together! You guys are the best! I'll see you soon :)


Si Nora/KC


Si Sharon/Troy


My Wingmen

HEAVEN HELP
Lenny Kravitz

There comes a time to be free of the heart
I wanna be ready, ready to start
On a love journey, got places to go
Made up my mind and I have got to let you know

Heaven help the heart that lets me inside
Heaven help the one who comes in my life
Heaven help the fool that walks through my door
'Cause I decided right now
I'm ready for love

A funny feeling's coming over me
Now I'm inspired and open to being
In a love place but it's out of my hands
I'm telling you baby that you got to understand

Heaven help the heart that lets me inside
Heaven help the one who comes in my life
Heaven help the fool that walks through my door
'Cause I decided right now
I'm ready for love

I can't see what's out there for me
And I know love offers no guarantees
I'll take a chance and I'm telling you something babe
I got to let you know

Heaven help the heart that lets me inside
Heaven help the one who comes in my life
Heaven help the fool that walks through my door
'Cause I decided right now
I'm ready for love, ready for love
Take a chance, take the chance on love

Stuck in Melancholia

I still haven't quite gotten over yesterday's melancholia. I don't know what's come over me. With all the insanely unbelievable things that have been happening to me, I figured I might've simply been tapping into this month's *happiness* supply.. leaving me high and dry this September. Crap! I just really don't get it. I've been floating on such a sugar high the past few weeks and all of a sudden I feel like everything's crashing down on me.. I need some pampering and a great massage! It could also be alcohol-withdrawal! hahahaha.. Go figure! :p

Stuck in a Moment
U2

I’m not afraid of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me that I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I will not forsake the colours that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks, they left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears, through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now, my, oh my

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm till you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass

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Shameless plugs:
My friends W2i are performing at the Music Museum this Saturday, September 10, along with some other bands. Tickets are at P150. You can also catch Tinted Minds at the AFP theater with artists like Kitchie Nadal, Sponge Cola, etc. on Saturday. I'm not too sure about the details but if you're interested I can find out.

Let's support our local artist because they kick some serious musical booty! hehehe :)



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Birthday shoutout to my Brother Bear--who incidentally can be seen in the September issue off Cosmopolitan mag. You rock dude! Thanks for always coming to my rescue. Shake some serious booty on Thursday but be prepared to ward off unwarranted attacks.. More fun fun fun for us! More misadventures for us to share! hehehe :)

Panic Manic Monday

The week hasn't exactly taken off and already I'm feeling the pressure from work. I actually spent the weekend here, attending to castings and workshops. It's really just my luck that an "instant" project came through the day before my tagteam partner left for a 2.5 weeks US vacation. Happiness all over! NOT! I'm nervous and in a slight state of panic because this is my baptism of fire. I have another project in the works and another one that might just push through. DIOS KO LORD!!! I'm pretty sure that despite my OC nature, I'll probably miss out on a few details here and there. I just pray that I don't mess up that bad. The worst thing about all of this is that my gimmick hours will definitely decrease, if not be completely decimated this week. (Worry not girlies, there's now ay in hell I'm gonna miss our Friday Fun Fun Fun! Especially after this week! I'll see you at the Candyshop! hehehe)

I'm feeling a bit melancholy today. It might just be the hormones taking me on a rollercoaster ride but I could really use a Sunshine-y lift! (Think LIPBALM! hehehe :9) I just feel really tired. The past weeks are finally taking it's toll on me!

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My Mom and I were finally able to spend some quality time together. After work last Saturday, I went to pick her up from the house. We had dinner then stayed to watch the band play. It felt good to be able to get some things out of our chests and to actually talk about the ghost/s of my past. It'll be my anniversary at my Dad's soon and I guess we've both come to realize that I was placed there for a reason. I feel like such an adult--like I grew up all of a sudden. My Mom's glad to see that despite the things that I've been through, I am standing on solid ground and that I have grown more independent in the past month or so. She's even beginning to dress-up more because she sees how much fun I'm having playing dress-up. Plus, she finally trusts my driving abilities--so much so that she asked me to drive her to her meeting today. (An obvious downside to the whole driving bit because now she has two designated drivers. Pooh!) After that night, I feel like yet another heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders so I know that I'm going to be more than okay in the coming days.

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I first heard this song on a Baguio adventure with my Chicas. Wala lang.. since I'm feeling a little out of it, I just thought of sharing with you.

A Shade of Blue
Incognito

A lifetime waiting for the light to shine
Suddenly you were here, like an angel appeared
And the world that I knew changed into a wonderland
Then you called out my name, looked around and I found you were gone
Like the rays of the sun, disappeared into never ending nights

Where everything real has turned to stone
And the songbird has flown (you’re gone)
Now I know a rose can change a shade of blue
Ooh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
A shade of blue

My body’s hurting, crying and yearning
Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind
And I think about you, knowing only you could understand
Here alone in my room, I can feel all the walls closing in
Feeling trapped in a shell, wishing that I could spin the wheels of change

PS, Jammy, you'll be okay.. that's a promise :)