Show Me The Way To The Circus

Newly-obtained skill for JANUARY: JUGGLING!

Only a few more days until January ends and already my mind is swimming and my insides are flipping over the series of events that have been happening. HELP ME!!! I need to get both my feet planted solidly on the ground before the next wave hits. I feel like so much has been happening and I have a lot of responsibilities to fulfill but there's only one ME and there's not enough time in a day to accomplish my tasks.

Work has been good in terms of having projects left and right. I just need to focus and become overly organized so that things will flow smoothly. Big Poppa has been kind and I know that these are really good opportunities for me. I just don't want to let him or anyone (myself included) down, especially since I'm seriously contemplating on actually positioning myself in this line of work.

The Band-fever has subsided and it's a done deal. At least, I'd like to think that we're just on a temporary hiatus. I don't blame my bandmates (cos' I love them dearly). We all have other priorities and we just have to point our attention on those things. I was personally feeling the brunt of rushing all the way to QC from Makati, staying up late then having to wake up early for work the next day. It was fun while it lasted and I know that I haven't exactly given up on the idea of playing in a band so we'll have to wait and see.. I'm probably the most hard-hit among the four of us because I'm the connecting block and I just grew completely attached to them.

Yes, I'm still smiling and yes, I still can't figure other things out. Add a joker to the lot and another complication . Juggling is giving me a headache but in one sense it's still fun...I'm crazy, it's true.

*** *** ***

BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUTS to my Bangaw team member Denggybenggy! I've forgotten what it's like to be 21 but I promise you, we'll make it really fun and memorable for you. Langis-langisan party with the hiphoppers and the construs.. (Hurrah for Brown Cow! :9) Sushi soon! :)



TAGTEAM Partner, you are the Master Juggler! I can't believe the mess you've brought me into..Nakakahawa pala iyan! Hahaha..Joke! I wish you love and more love because God knows you deserve it. (Funny how we keep on saying that..Parang hindi tayo masyado naniniwala..Hehehe) Isa kang certified DYOZA (taob si GYOZA!) Alabshuuu! :)


*** *** ***
Hmmmmmm...Hehehe :p

PUSH THE BUTTON
Sugababes

I'm busy throwing hints that he keeps missing
Don't have to think about it
I Wanna kiss and
Everything around it but he's too distant
I wanna feel his body
I can't resist it

I know my hidden looks can be deceiving
But how obvious should a girl be?
I was taken by the early conversation piece
And I really like the way that he respected me

I've been waiting patiently for him to come and get it
I wonder if he knows that he can say it and I'm with it
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Catch this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I'm busy showing him what he's been missing
I'm kind of showing off for his full attention
My sexy ass has got him in the new dimension
I'm ready to do something to relieve this mission

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came on through and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

I've been dropping so many hints
You're still not getting it
Now that you’ve heard everything I have to say
Where we gonna go from here?

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came over and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

Ohhhhhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhhh

Stir Crazystock!

Light night's gig was a blast thanks to our friends and loyal (thought forced) fans: my Wingmen (Jojo I missed you plenty plenty! Mag-reply ka naman please..) and friends (including Lancey's soulmate/bf), Chinese mafia (thanks for jamming McDo!), W2i plus Kat and other talented musician friends (Pwede humingi ng konting talent?! hahaha), Toppers and her friends from d'hood, Beebo's friends (plus jammer Jomike of course) and my new Ninja Cowboy friend.. :)

*** *** ***
My new sleeps.. hehe :)

SUNNY CAME HOME
Shawn Colvin

Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission
She says days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire

Sunny came home with a list of names
She didn't believe in transcendence
It's time for a few small repairs she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance

She says days go by I don't know why
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire

Get the kids and bring a sweater
Dry is good and wind is better
Count the years, you always knew it
Strike a match, go on and do it

Days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire
Light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own and she's alright
Sunny came home
Sunny came home...

Basta Ikaw

I did it. I survived a Days With The Lord weekend!

Please don't ask me why I signed up for it in the first place cos' I really don't know. Aside from the fact that it's a good way to start the year, I'd have to admit that I signed-up for it blindly. I had a lot of apprehensions before actually pushing through with it, what with the horror stories I've heard and with the very intimidating To-Bring-List that they gave me but I guess at this point, there really isn't much to lose.

They didn't lie when they said "I never said it was going to be easy.I just said it'd be worth it." And worth it, it was. I can't exactly divulge what went on last weekend but suffice to say, this is one experience that will stay on my mind and in my heart for a long time. I've been saying over and over how crazy a rollercoaster ride 2005 was for me. I never thought that I could go through wave after wave of emotions in such a short span of time. Yes, I cried my eyes out this weekend and I poured my heart out to the people who mattered most to me. I was also reminded of how loved I am and how there are a lot of people out there who have my back. It really fills my heart.

Most importantly, I am making my way home to Jess.. Sure, they're baby steps but at least I know where I'm headed and I know that I have no plans of turning back.

Boppers, my sponsor, I love you. Thank you for selflessly "serving" for me this weekend. I greatly appreciate the depth of our friendship.

M&M, you kept me sane inside the DWTL "house". You held my hand and shared your strength with me. You made me laugh and kept me smiling even when I felt that I was in hell.

J, my pseudo-co-sponsor, you always know how to make your presence felt even when you're far away. You are so YOU and I'm glad. Thank you for helping Boppers out.

Mi familia, your words came when I needed it the most. You are my life, for always.

Jammy, Hengs, Mafiosos and everyone else who wrote me, thank you. You make living on this crazy planet a real treat.

Karen, KC, Obe, EJ, Ava, Jam, and the staff who took care of us (and scared the living daylights out of us), thank you for taking care of us and for bringing us back to where we belong. Thank you for sharing yourselves with us. Your openness allowed me to tap into a hidden/ buried part in my heart.

My new sisters- Arianne,Anne,Tina, Capt.Crissy,Chuey- I couldn't have chosen a better bunch of people to share this weekend with. Basta Kayo...I'm there.

Yes, I am on a Days high. It's so hard to explain but this weekend has left me overwhelmed as I slowly make my way back to the "real" world. I just wonder how long this will last...

*** *** ***

I just want to say.. Thank YOU for making me smile. I feel giddy all over but so stupid at the same time because this probably doesn't mean anything...but then again, the thought of having you lurking in the background is enough...

As for YOU, my head is spinning round and round. You've got my insides twisted in knots. I don't understand you and it's making me so goddamn frustrated. I just want to know what's really on your mind... I think I miss you but I know have to stop thinking about you...

For Lack of Something Better to Blog About..

I stole this from Car's blog.. :)

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you..

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I remember making some resolutions but I don't really remember what..

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Boppers and most recently Mother Hen --> The MOST adorable babies on this planet (I'm biased of course!)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Fifi's Dad.. :(

5. What countries did you visit?

2005 was crazy so I was stuck here in Manila..

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?

I would honestly like to be more spiritual.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 18 and 21 --> Freedom baby! :)

8. What was your biggest achievement/s of the year?

I was able to make a relatively smooth transition from my job at the Factory to this one and I think I'm actually pretty good at what I do. Plus, I managed to pull myself together after getting off from that freakish rollercoaster ride and I honestly think I've never been at a better place in my life! :)

9. What was your biggest failure?

My 'Messiah complex" got me into so much trouble last year.. :p

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Hmmmm.. my old aches and pains resurfaced coupled with a few trips to the ER and currently, acid reflux (Thanks a bunch Boppers!)

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I didn't really make any big purchases last year but I was quite happy with the gifts I gave out last Christmas. I know at the very least, I made my family members happy :D

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I take my hat off to Jammy.. It was a tough decision and while you're still trying to get over all of that, I'm glad you did what you did.. (We're here for you Hun!) :)

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?

Need I name names???!!!

14. Where did most of your money go?

My name is Reg and I am a shopaholic!!! I think I went a little overboard with retail therapy during the last half of the year but it was quite effective.. :9

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Hitting the beach with my girls, new projects, meeting new people and band :)

16. What song/s will always remind you of 2005?

It's Like That, Girl, Stick With You, You Oughta Know, Crazy For You.. and a bunch of other songs we bopped to :)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

A. Happier or Sadder? Happier.

B. Thinner or Fatter? I'd like to think thinner..

C. Richer or Poorer? Richer (Hurrah!) :)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Exercise? Oh and see my high school barkada (sigh.)

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

My name is Reg and I'm an alcoholic! (Plus I'm going to TRY to cut down on my smoking this year..)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent Christmas Eve with my Mom's side of the family, Christmas Day with my Dad's side. I actually spent most of Christmas on the phone checking up on preparations for our "holiday" shoot.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?

Ummm..with myself? Does that count? :p

22. How many one-night stands?

Hmmmmm...

23. What was your favorite TV program?

I'm still addicted to Alias. Season 5 is out! Happiness! :)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hmmm.. somewhat hated that person then, truly hate that person now..

25. What was the best book you read?

The Paulo Coelho books and teh other fun reads I stumbled upon this year (Loose Screws, Bread Alone, Bergdorf Blondes..)

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

IN VINO! Hehehehe.. Gotta love your own.. :D

27. What did you want and get?

I wanted to be at peace and to be (relatively) happy!

28. What did you want and not get?

I wanted to be truly loved and accepted for who I am..

29. Favorite film of this year?

Harry Potter.. I honestly don't remember the movies I saw last year :p

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I had band practice on my actual birthday but it was still good. My Wingmen plus Sher dropped in on us so we had a mini celebration. Quarter-life crisis hit me last year so I threw a small but fun fun fun party with my brother. Everyone (well, almost..) came in denim and white so the pictures look really cool. In Vino made it's first public appearance plus my former bandmates and other talented musician friends jammed with us. Alcohol flowed endlessly so everyone was pretty much smashed. I was super memorable because almost all of the people who I hold dear really made it a point to be there. It was the best birthday I've had.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I don't really know.. While it was crazy, trying, and full of changes, 2005 proved to be a relatively good year for me.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

My 2005 uniform: white tank top, bermudas/ cropped pants, thick belt, flipflops/ heels/ weird shoes.. I'm pretty sure this will carry-over into the next couple of years :D

33. What kept you sane?

My girls and my friends! :D

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The Gloriagate scandal was the final straw for me. I quit reading the headlines after that.

35. Who did you miss?

My family..

36. Who were the best new persons you met?

Tagteam partner plus the other people at the Slave Pit, bandmates and band friends, Jojo, Car, Marlon, Dandan and all the other new friends I've made.. :D

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.

Everything happens for a reason. Live and let live. And my ultimate favorite- "Dyosa ako, tao ka lang!" Hehehe :9

On a New Year High

First post for the year.. There really isn't much to share just yet but suffice to say I'm intoxicated with the anticipation of things to come. 2005 had some unbelievable buzzer-beater moments that I'm not exactly keen on sharing just yet--lest I jinx it but I'm just glad that I'm beginning to find more reasons to smile each day. It's a pretty darn good way to start the year.

Happy New Year everybody! Cheers! :D

*** *** ***

High
The Speaks

Will it ever be?
I’ve tried so hard to find sweet serenity
Are you still afraid?
Just close your eyes and dream, and feel it fade away.

Time won’t flow, everyone knows
When the pain fades away
And dreams won’t die, with tears in our eyes
You’ve got to hold your head up high…

It’s taken some time,
And I’ve given up the will to change your state of mind
Try and understand,
It’s not so hard to see that I am just a man.

Time won’t flow, everyone knows
When the pain fades away
And dreams won’t die, with tears in our eyes
You’ve got to hold your head up high…

Will it ever be?
I’ve tried so hard to find sweet serenity
Try and understand,
It’s not so hard to see that I am just a man.

Time won’t flow, everyone knows
When the pain fades away
And dreams won’t die, with tears in our eyes
You’ve got to hold your head up high…