31 August, 2005

For My Girls

Jammy and Fifi, my girls, we've been through a million and one things before but we've never ever let each other down. I'm thankful that you're both here for me. I found my "No Matter What" in you guys. Trust in the "Power of Three"! No worries, we'll always hold each other up.


My girls at the Candyshop

Girl
Destiny's Child

[LIZZIE]
Take A Minute Girl Come Sit Down
And Tell Us What's Been Happening
In Your Face I Can See The Pain
Don't You Try To Convince Us That You're Happy (Yeah)
We've Seen This All Before
But He's Taking Advantage Of Your Passion
Because We've Come Too Far
For You To Feel Alone
You Don't Let Him Walk Over Your Heart
I'm Telling You

Girl, I Can Tell You've Been Crying
And You Needing Someone To Talk To
Girl, I Can Tell He's Been Lying
And Pretending That He's Faithful And He Loves You
Girl, You Don't Have To Be Hiding
Don't You Be Ashamed To Say He Hurt You
I'm Your Girl, You're My Girl, We're You're Girls
Want You To Know That We Love You

[JAMMY]
See What You All Don't Know About Him
Is I Can't Let Him Go Because He Needs Me
It Ain't Really Him It's Stress From His Job
And I Ain't Making It Easy
I Know You See Him Bugging On Me Sometimes
But I Know He Be Tired He Don't Mean It
It Gets Hard Sometimes
But I Need My Man
I Don't Think Ya'll Understand
I'm Telling You

[FIFI]
Girl, Take A Good Look At Yourself
He Got You Going Through Hell
We Ain't Never Seen You Down Like This
What You Mean You Don't Need Our Help?
We Known Each other Too Well

30 August, 2005

Tropical Illusions on a Manic Monday

Everybody hates Mondays because it kicks off yet another work week for slaves such as myself . I'm expecting my stress level to increase this week and drastically shoot up by next week when some projects finally kick off. In addition to that, beginning this week, I'll be driving from the house to Ortigas (my bro's been assigned to handle one of the offices there) to Makati then back to Ortigas to pick him up when I'm done with work 3 out of 5 working days. Crap! Since today is no longer a holiday, it took me about an hour from his office to get to mine. Double Crap!

When you've got girlfriends like I do, a Monday night can magically transform into a Friday! Fun Fun Fun! It's been awhile since I was able to really go out and spend quality time with Fifi and Jammy (You especially hunny, we missed you soooo much! You're FREE!!! TARA GAME!!! The Emancipation... Hehehe)

We had our usual No-Holds-Barred and No-Judgement marathon session to recap the weekend that was and to deal with a pressing issue. We finally realized the boundaries and limits of our "No-Judgement" clause and it's good that I can be more vocal about my pure unadulterated hate for the Kebab who has repeatedly broken my friend's heart. When friends don't like the guy you're with, it's probably because they just don't click BUT when EVERYBODY--most especially your family--doesn't approve of him then there must be something wrong. (Why didn't I realize that sooner?!!) It's not entirely his faulty--clearly, he just happened to like her a lot when he should've been madly in love with her! Fuckwit! (I'll stop here cos' I was in a good mood and I don't want to ruin it by wasting time thinking about that emotional Fuckwit!)

Funny how we always manage to make both minor and major revelations (Top mine!) everytime we get together like this. It's like SATC but more potent and lethal but unbelievably funny. Even without the Tropical Illusion, we still would've giggled, laughed and cackled the whole night. It's been awhile too since we've been able to get up and dance--and dance we did. (Thanks Jammy, I OWE YOU BIGTIME! It was well worth it plus it's not my fault LL wanted to "rock with me"! hahaha) Who would've thunk we could actually have hiphop and RnB on a Monday night?!!! (Thanks to DJ Shorty and Rewind!) Fun Fun Fun!

When push comes to shove, I rest assured knowing that the three of us will always have someone to fall back on and to hold our hair back when the universe is conspiring against us. I love you girlies and I treasure you in ways unimaginable. Here's to vitamins, 3 nippy's, and hands-free happiness! Mwaaah!

*The Chicas and I partied at the MTV Pilipinas Video Awards last Thursday. Pictures and a post to recap that night to follow soon! :)

24 August, 2005

A Little Too Ironic

Since I last posted here, a denizen of events have been happening in my life and I honestly just can't seem to keep up. Going into detail is next to impossible but let's just say that I was out of the house almost every day since I last posted--Yes, including Sundays. Quite frankly, I'm exhausted. For the first time in almost a month, I was able to finally get some good quality sleep last night but oddly, I woke up this morning feeling anything but refreshed. It's settled then--I operate better with only 3-5 hours of sleep, (plus a pack of dunhills and lots of alcohol, hehe). Batteries not included.

My weekend was packed and rather eventful. It's been awhile since I last "hopped" from one place to another, punctuated by a "hangry" nightcap. I have my newly-found Wingmen (Nora and Sharon, hehehe) to thank for that. Remember, happiness all over! Fun! Fun! Fun! I guess some people just naturally gravitate towards each other and while I haven't been around them much--having recently resurrected from a 2-year exile--they provide a very secure and comfortable zone for me.

My chocolate fondue has evolved into a game, dessert and a movie. (Yes, I'm still not going to details..not yet..) Although wary of tried and tested tricks of the trade, I actually had a great time. More Fun! Fun! Fun! for me. (Besides, my Wingmen are on Red Alert, I just need to press the alarm! :p)

*** *** ***

In other news, Boppers is back with BabyBoppers-Rockers in tow! Adorable! (I'm sorry my Mac is messed up so pictures to follow. Notice how bare my posts have been?!! Grrrr...) While we have yet to sit down for our traditional marathon sessions, I can't begin to explain how glad I am that I have her here within reach again. Alabshuuu Mare! hehehe :)

*** *** ***

I was driving to work the other day when I heard this on the radio (I have no idea which station so don't bother asking what the hell I was listening to. I can't multi-task while driving so I'm pretty much stuck with whatever station is on until the next red light, hehe. Yes, I'm Ms. Independent now. I feel so empowered by the thought that I can go anywhere--wait, almost anywhere--on my own without having to worry about having a ride cos' I can actually drive myself around.) I remember back in high school when the whole class would break into this song (more like a hum) to tease a classmate. God, that was lightyears and lightyears away and about 100 wrinkles ago.

If you look closely, you (meaning Jammy and Boppers--which is why this one's for both of you!) would know why this is a little too ironic for me. Enjoy this blast from the past.

The One You Love
Glenn Frey

I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love, there's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do
I heard you on the phone, you took his number
Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you cryin'?
Isn't he the one who made you blue?
When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

What you gonna say when he comes over?
There's no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams, all the disappointment
Oh girl, what you gonna do?
Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
But still you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

11 August, 2005

You Make Me Sing...Parapapapa...

Ever notice how even on a dark, gloomy and rainy day such as this, you don't feel quite as cold when you're busy smiling? It's just a silly little though that I felt like sharing.. teehee :)

Her album's out! Please go and buy it! The lyrics are simple and the melody's quite catchy..It seems like the perfect song for a day like this (Right, Jammy? heehee.. I gotta stop giggling! Really!!!)


YOU MAKE ME SING
Karylle

When I wake
All I want to see is
Your smiling face next to mine
And do you know
That you’ve got me going
Crazy all the time

Do you feel what I’m saying to you
Do you feel me
Coz I feel you and all the things that you do
You’ve got me singing all the time

You make me sing
You make me sing
All the time

Hold me close
Don’t you ever let go
I just want you by my side
Even though we’re not together all the time
I’ve always got you on my mind

Do you feel what I’m saying to you
Do you feel me
Coz I feel you and all the things that you do
You’ve got me singing all the time

You make me sing
You make me sing
All the time
You make me sing
You make me sing
All the time

I just want this feeling never to end inside my heart
You’re kissable, adorable, beautiful
Every part of you makes me feel so complete
Never thought that you could make me feel this way
You make me sing

Parapapapa
Parapapa
Papapapapa
Parapapapapapapa

You make me sing over here,
Over there, everywhere
You make me sing
In the park, to the stars, from my heart
You make me sing
When I work, at the mall when you call
You make me sing
When I wake, on my break, at the studio
At the store, on the train, on the plane
In my room constantly on my couch before I sleep
People think I’m crazy singing singing all the time

10 August, 2005

Chocolate Fondue and other Unbelievable stories

It has just been an absolutely UNBELIEVABLE rollercoaster ride for me! I can't even begin to digest everything that's been happening to me in the past few weeks.. Granted there have been some mishaps along the way, it's still been out of this world and extremely fun.

I got into my very first driving accident last week (and I swear, my last! Hey, it happens to the best of us!) I backed into another car (no, it wasn't parked) as I was pulling out of my office building's crappy parking. Our office is on a very crowded one way street and with a guard who has been christened as "Dumb" by our Big Boss ("Dumber" has long been fired), you can imagine how helpful he must've been that night. The lady I bumped into was veeeeeerrry nice about it while surprisingly, it was her friend who was such a monster about everything. To top it all off, some mommy-aged woman passes by in her CRV with the window down and stops by my car just to say, "O, naka-handbrake ka na ba? Baka may mabangga ka ulit! (evil maniacal laugh)" What the f...?!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! I guess that further reinforces the fact na marami talagang mga demonyo dito sa mundo.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day in Camp Karingal for reasons I don't want to get into. UNBELIEVABLE!!! I promise you though, those corrupt policemen will get what they deserve! Today might very well be their last day on this planet. While my current address says otherwise, I love my family more than life itself and I would not hesitate to kill for them, not for moment. I'm worried about my brother because that must been tough for him but at least he's more angry than bothered so that'll keep him strong.

I bumped into a lot of "old" friends last weekend and it just felt good to see them after almost 2 years. They barely recognized me at first which makes me wonder how much I've changed since they last saw me. Judging from their reactions, it might be a good thing. It was so much fun catching up on things, having a few rounds, and even dancing--I never would've thunk that those guys actually danced cos they never did for as long as I've known them! The night even had a few surprises in store for me. UNBELIEVABLE!!! (Yes, that's my new favorite word! I'm sorry!)

My chocolate fondue story is the most UNBELIEVABLE of all my stories..but I'm gonna keep that to myself for now. Let's just say I'm wearing a smile on my face today.

(Belated) Birthday shoutout to Abu, I hope it was an extremely happy one. I'll see you when you get back from the beach (all tanned, beautiful and sexy! Grrrrr!!!)

Good morning Jammy and Fifi! You guys are the best and the sweetest (plus you seem to like fondue too, hehe). Have a happy sunshiny day! GO TEAM! :9


UMAGANG KAY GANDA
Pops Fernandez/ Noisy Neighbors

Halika na pumikit limutin ang problema
Hihintayin ang umaga
Magpahinga, managinip ang ikaliligaya
Darating din ang umaga

Basta't tayo'y magkasama
Laging mayro'ng umagang kay ganda
Pagsikat ng araw
May dalang liwanag
Sa ating pangarap, ooh...
haharapin natin (haharapin natin)

Magpahinga, panaginip ang ikaliligaya
Darating din ang umaga

Basta't tayo'y magkasama
Laging mayro'ng umagang kay ganda
Pagsikat ng araw
May dalang liwanag
Sa ating pangarap, ooh...
haharapin natin (haharapin natin)

Ang sikat ng araw
Na may dalang liwanag

Basta't tayo'y magkasama
Laging mayro'ng umagang kay ganda
Pagsikat ng araw
May dalang liwanag
Sa ating pangarap, ooh...
haharapin natin (haharapin natin)

01 August, 2005

Happy Anniversary! Happy re-BIRTHday!

Today would’ve been an anniversary of sorts. I had a multitude of surprises planned to celebrate two years of what I thought to be a “meaningful existence”. Unfortunately/ fortunately (depending on which side you look at), these surprises will have to remain un-sprung.

I never thought that a visit to a local haunt two years to this day (now closed, by the way) for a friend’s birthday would make such a mark on me—now leaving me scarred and in one sense, broken. Little did I know that it would be the start of something that would eventually change my life forever.

How has my life changed, you might ask. There were so many things that I believed in before all of this happened. I thought that people could and would change, that people in general, could and would never intentionally harm another person. I thought that I was invincible—that no one had the power to truly hurt me in every sense of the word (be it physical, emotional, mental, etc.). I believed that I was a strong person—that when placed under certain circumstances, I could very easily walk away. I thought that if I fought hard for what I believed in, I would actually win in the end.

I obviously didn’t and if you think about it, until the very end, I didn’t walk away. I was actually left alone to pick up the pieces. I learned some cold hard truths about myself. I saw a lot of things that I actually didn’t like, things that were surreptitiously thrown at my face. I lost my grasp of what was right and wrong because I was too busy sacrificing my own happiness to see clearly. I sometimes think to myself, when my brain gets all fuzzy, that the pains that I‘ve experienced are in one sense, self-inflicted because I allowed those things to happen to me.

I would be the first to say that the past couple of years have not been all bad. If anything, I always say, “When things are good, they’re great…” (If only this wasn’t followed by “…but when they’re not, things can get really ugly.”) I had good time and great experiences too, though far-spaced and towards the end, fleeting. I have felt love and at one point, I have been swept off my feet by it. I still have a mental picture of “the last happy day” I had but even that is starting to fade.

It’s you who takes away the emptiness
I find myself falling helplessly into
It’s your love that carries me through,
Your touch that pulls me up,
And your kiss that inspires me
To put together the ends of the earth
I love you endlessly,
Like the stars in the night
That shimmer in the distance,
Undeniable and clear.

Those words struck a chord in my heart some time ago. On days when the sun wasn’t particularly shining on my miniscule space on this planet, I would go back and let those words fill me up inside. It was the only remaining message that I treasured, that I kept, but only up to this day. After which, my inbox will be free…until such time that a new message finds its way to me.

I don’t want this day to lose its meaning because I know that this is something that I will carry with me till the end of my days. So, today will be the birth of a new ME. Today, I am genuinely happy and smiling. Today, I begin to let go of the hurts and pains that I have allowed myself to be engulfed in. Today, I am moving on. God, It feels so good to say that out loud. I’m in PHASE 1, baby! Hahahaha :)

I promise you dear readers (all 3 or 4 of you…Hi Mom!) that this is my last uber long dramatic post, (at least until the next earth-shattering event that’ll rock my world!) Only happy thoughts and stories of new adventures with the new (and old) people in my life from now on. Thank you for bearing with me! :)

I have not sworn off love nor will I ever because I know that there is someone, somewhere waiting for me. I was utterly amused when my brother told my Mom, “How will she know she’s with the right one if she doesn’t go through the wrong ones?” ‘Nuff said.

“Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with, and love shouldn’t be one of them.”
-Dreams for an Insomniac

Ode to a Lost Love

I Can't Make You Love Me
George Michael

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed

Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me If you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark in these final hours
I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
And I can't make you love me
If you don't

I'll close my eyes and then I won't see
The love you do not feel, when you're holding me
Morning will come, and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then, to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

And I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
And here in the dark in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't
And I can't make you love me %